But when I wake up in the morning, my left leg is so tired that it can’t support me when I try to transfer to the wheel chair (my nurse aid has to be alert in case I fall); and my arm and fingers are still unable to move, so I can’t take a shower and dress by myself, or make lunch and dinner, or pick up a tray, or wash and manicure my hands; and I feel frustrated. Granted, I’m impatient, but progress is very slow. I try to remind myself of the phrase Eric made up to encourage me, “the three Ps” (be Patient, be Positive, and Push), but it doesn’t help.
When we’ve finished dinner and Eric is giving me my meds, I picture myself meditating and falling asleep, and in my mind the circle is rolling and rolling with no end in sight. And yet, I keep waking up, having my meds, and going through every part of my routine.