A few days ago, Eric told me that the bleeding of my brain caused my muscles to be unable to swallow. Suddenly, I was drowning in my own saliva. My seizures, added to my choking, forced the doctors to induce coma with infused Dylantin, which was always under control to avoid side effects. When he added this part of the story (he always avoids telling it because it makes him cry), I was stunned; I knew the bleeding had been traumatic for me, but I didn’t remember it. Yet, my muscles carry inside them an unconscious memory of facing death.
That’s the near-death experience that I remember but don’t remember. So, there’s death and fear of death stored in my muscles that I don’t remember but keeps me awake at night.