Differences

​Every day, I do exercises with my left leg to strengthen my muscles. Each exercise is geared to a particular muscle in my leg to prepare it for walking. I have to make my quadriceps stronger so that I can lock my knee –  if I can lock my knee and keep it locked, I’ll be able to lift my right leg without falling. I have to have a stronger shin so that I can flex my foot, and then I’ll be able to step with my heel, and then I’ll be able to lock my knee and lift my right leg. I need a stronger iliopsoas to be able to step with a straight left foot, so that I can keep my balance.
Every time I lock my left knee, every time I flex my left foot, every time I rotate my left leg, it takes me time and effort. Contrariwise, every time I lift my right leg, flex my right foot, or rotate my right leg, I do it effortlessly, practically without a thought.
Every time I do my exercises, I’m faced with the differences between my legs; with the magnitude of the obstacle standing before me. Every time I do my exercises, I’m reminded of the differences I found after my injury – I couldn’t wiggle my left toes, I couldn’t flex my left foot, and I couldn’t lift my left leg, all things I could easily do with my right limb. Every time I do my exercises I’m filled with anger and frustration toward chance; toward the cards I was dealt with. And there’s nothing to do but to continue doing my exercises with a smile.