After my brain injury, unfortunately (or fortunately, I haven’t decided yet), I’ve had plenty of time; Eric has taken up all the house chores (as well as caring for Nathan and me, and his job). Besides, I’ve given up reading any email related to job hunting or new jobs, whether from old or prospective clients. All I read are friends’ emails. So, I’m certainly free enough to meditate, if I make space in my mind. Since I never learned how to do it before, I’ve resorted to the help of a guide.
I meditate in the afternoon and evening, before going to sleep, always under the guide’s directions. But when a daily concern affects me, my mind resists meditation – it escapes through meandering thoughts. I try very hard to let the guide’s words envelop me and isolate me from the world of the present. Sometimes, my mind is so overwhelmed by current concerns, by fear and anxiety, that I can’t hear any of his instructions, and when I’m finally there, I realized I’ve lost him. But other times I’m successful; I close my mind to the outside, and the only external voice I hear is the guide’s. For a few minutes, I submerge into my inner world, concentrating only on my body. And when I reach the end of the recording, my mind feels rested, open, grounded. It’s as though a splitting had happened that separated my inside self from the world outside, and my mind were immune to every external onslaught. So, meditating has become my new anti-seizure activity, and I practice it at least twice a day.