After days and days of dissatisfaction and impatience with the slowness of the pace of my improvement, I finally realized I was choosing the wrong point of comparison. I should have used March 2019 as my starting point. Back then, I was still wearing a brace to prevent my knee from buckling and making me lose balance. Since the brace was too heavy for me to lift my left leg, I needed the help of the physical therapist. This should be the point in time with which I should compare my walking on Sunday – I was able to do without a brace because I could lock my knee. My knee didn’t buckle! I could use a forearm crutch as a means of support because when I lifted it, I could balance. And I walked slowly, but I could walk. Eric didn’t need to support my hip to help me lift my leg. He only needed to walk behind me in case I fell. And I did fall, or came close to it. But, as my nurse aid had said, the only reason I lose balance was fear; I lack self-confidence, which will come back over time with a lot of practice.
And I do the same thing with my voice, and my diction, and my swallowing. If I chose the right starting point with which to compare them, as I did with walking, I’d recognize the progress I made, and be happy instead of discontented. So, back to the beginning: Eric is right; I should stop beating myself up.