Yesterday I walked inside the wooden device that Eric had made for me. I walked without wearing the harness, as my nurse aid had suggested a while ago. First, I supported myself with the bar, as a warmup; then, I substituted the crutch for the bar. My nurse aid stood close, alert to what I was doing in case I fell. I did several laps with the crutch pretty smoothly, but I was on the verge of falling once or twice. I felt quite tired after a while, so I switched back to the bar and sat on the chair to rest. My nurse aid must have read the sense of defeat written on my face, because she gave me a talk. And she had a lot of things to say.
My nurse aid is very smart and experienced, and has been a great help to me. She said that I’d be able to walk without falling when I got to know my crutch; when I talked to it; when I was confident that I wouldn’t fall. “You have come a long way since I started here,” she told me. “I’m so proud of you. I’d like to say I’m excited, but you’re not, so I keep quiet.” And she added, “You have to be confident in yourself. And when you’re confident, you’ll be able to pick up the crutch and stand up and walk. And you’ll be independent.” Hearing her talk about independence reminded me of when I was at home doing my exercises for the first time; I was so eager to move around the house without the aid of the wheelchair. And after a year and some months had gone by, I pictured myself as I used to picture myself back then – picking up the crutch, getting up, and walking. Looking back on that day, it seemed like both a realizable and an impossible dream. And I started crying.
But the time had come to do my arm exercises. So, I wheeled myself to the bench and slid on it, my nurse aid handed me the elastic band, and I started with the repetitions. And then, there would be lunch; and reading and writing; and meditating; and...
My nurse aid is very smart and experienced, and has been a great help to me. She said that I’d be able to walk without falling when I got to know my crutch; when I talked to it; when I was confident that I wouldn’t fall. “You have come a long way since I started here,” she told me. “I’m so proud of you. I’d like to say I’m excited, but you’re not, so I keep quiet.” And she added, “You have to be confident in yourself. And when you’re confident, you’ll be able to pick up the crutch and stand up and walk. And you’ll be independent.” Hearing her talk about independence reminded me of when I was at home doing my exercises for the first time; I was so eager to move around the house without the aid of the wheelchair. And after a year and some months had gone by, I pictured myself as I used to picture myself back then – picking up the crutch, getting up, and walking. Looking back on that day, it seemed like both a realizable and an impossible dream. And I started crying.
But the time had come to do my arm exercises. So, I wheeled myself to the bench and slid on it, my nurse aid handed me the elastic band, and I started with the repetitions. And then, there would be lunch; and reading and writing; and meditating; and...